12.51 pm ~
that dreadful moment, 4 years ago, today, that ripped apart what was left of our quaint, quiet world.
I am remembering it.
My heart doesn’t want to anymore, but my brain and my body insist. 12.51, and all the other moments, beginning Sept 4, 2010, are imprinted on my being ~ indelibly. They have leached to my very core. Part of who I am and what I will be, forever.
Four years on and I still stiffen at any unexpected movement in the house, even if it’s only the wind, or a shake caused by a truck rumbling on the road. I startle easily. And, then, there are those moments that come, out of the blue, and screech through my head for an intense few seconds, saying, ” Is it going to happen again, NOW? Is it, is it? What will I do? What will I do? Will I make it? How will I hold on? Can I hold on? ” I am standing again in the bathroom doorway, holding on to frame and fear. Indescribable fear.
Then it’s over. I survive, and move on. Slowly. On shaky legs.
I set the table, in some trepidation, with my great-grandmother’s china. (Please no shakes, please no shakes.) I remind myself it has survived more than a 100 years. It is chipped, cracked and crazed, but its beauty and value remains.
A friend brings apples.

What would my Bramley ancestor make of these apples in her serving dish?
She has gathered them from an abandoned, earthquake-damaged property in her neighborhood. She calls them gravestone apples. I like that. They are, in a way. The property on which they grow is like a forlorn graveyard.
I eat the apples. I bake them. They are given new life, new form.

Crostata meets Chintz, Felicity, Vermont and Williamsburg at my table.
I bake bread, to share.
I want to feast on life, not fear.
Join me. Take a slice,
a spoon, a fork, “dig in”.

For keeps from Kerry. :), featuring Community Plate (Coronation) from my mother’s cutlery set. The tiny teaspoons belonged to my maternal great-grandmother Alice. http://www.rubylane.com/item/362270-1936CO-set-modgrille/Oneida-Community-Plate-CORONATION-Art-Deco
Something to ponder as you digest :
The china used in this post is a metaphor for continuity. The Flow Blue semi porcelain plates which belonged to my maternal great-grandmother were produced about 1912. The pattern is Vermont. They were made in England by Burgess and Leigh. The small blue plates, which I purchased just prior to the earthquakes, are also Burgess and Leigh. They are made in the same way and in the same factory as the Vermont china was all those years ago. One pattern is Felicity, the other is Chintz. Felicity is a small, delicate flower pattern reminiscent of elder flowers in a gentle pale blue originating from the 1930s. Burgess Chintz is a delicate blue chintz pattern dating from the early 1900s, derived from the wild geranium. How any of this china survived the shaking, I will never know.
© silkannthreades
Food is so soothing. I love my blue and white china. I have wedgwood and willow ware. And my grandmother’s pink rose noritake. It’s a comfort on shaky days.
Indeed, indeed. China holds so many memories.
Yes, china is like a memory box. Unpacking them makes me feel my family is around me.
Indeed, indeed. 🙂
Touching post and I admire your optimistic spirit. Can imagine it’s not always like that every day. Yummie pictures!
Definitely not like that every day. My optimism wavers. 😦 I don’t get to bake like that every day either. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the pictures.
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Empowering post … such an uplifting message, dear Gallivanta…
By the way, that apple pie looks delicious… Do you mind sharing a slice?.
All my best wishes ⭐ Aquileana 🙂
You can have two slices. 🙂
Awsome 😀 Thank you! Aquileana 🙂
I revisited your posit, because I was reminded today of the body’s memory vs. the mind’s. There is such a strong inextricable link between all our senses, and your experience is proof. Time does not always heal those memories that rivet through each and every sense. But you wear it well.
It’s almost impossible to wipe the slate clean, and it may not even be wise to do so. I am very interested in epigenetics which seems to explain how our experiences become embedded. http://discovermagazine.com/2013/may/13-grandmas-experiences-leave-epigenetic-mark-on-your-genes
All ok with you, Ann? Just busy I presume? 🙂
Thanks for asking Jo. Life is a bit haywire; okay, a lot haywire. I have been struggling with multiple family issues which have impacted on my own health. I had a week away at my uncle and aunt’s home to recuperate, but I am not yet back in full swing. I would love to be out striding along on one of your walks. Would do me a world of good. A little trot around the block with my dear dog will have to suffice. 🙂
So sorry to hear that, Ann. It’s easy to get dragged down when you’re in this sort of situation. You’re strong and will recover but my thoughts are with you in the meantime. Sending gentle hugs 🙂 🙂
My world is suffused with just the smallest hint of sunshine this morning, and I have 2 beautiful Mother’s Day cards from the young uns. Me and the hyacinths are smiling at you.
Oh that’s a lovely image of you and the hyacinths. I had forgotten about Mother’s Day in the UK. We have to wait until May for our Mother’s Day. Gentle hugs are warmly welcomed. 🙂 And lots more sunshine to you.
Gosh, I can’t believe it’s a whole four years since that dreadful earthquake. Wishing you and those close to you who experienced its horror strength and courage to keep on with your lives. A friend of our family has been out there helping planning the rebuilding for a year or two, and I know he has fallen in love with the area and the people. Enjoy that apple pie.
Yes, four years. Sometimes it seems like it was 4 decades ago, sometimes like 4 weeks ago. The rebuild is progressing reasonably well. We are lucky that so many from overseas have been eager to assist with the rebuild. It gets cold here so have you sent your family friend some knitted merino socks? And a beanie?
Can I have a slice? It looks moist and delicious. Regarding fear – it takes work to overcome it but it is worth the effort. I have only experienced a small earth tremor. I was not afraid – just confused since I did not understand what was going on at the time. We do not have earthquakes in Zambia.
Here’s to wishing you ‘stable earth’. 🙂
I like the sound of that ‘stable earth’. It sounds very reassuring. 🙂
May I have a second helping, please, – it was just as delicious as it appeared! 🙂
What a touching post, Gallivanta – and a fine way to deal with the fear. The old China is precious!
And if I had you all sitting at my table, how wonderful that would be. Selma and Siri would have such a fine time. 😉
Indeed they would. Big *hug* to you, my dear. Hope you have easier times coming up soon. ❤
Take good care.
Thank you Dina. Some easier times would be lovely.
I know how terrible is earth quick! But your lovely post turned the fear to life and joy dear Gallivanta! ❤️
xxxx
What a great post!
What jumped out at me are these lines of yours, and I quote,
“I want to feast on life, not fear.
Join me. Take a slice…..”
But can we succeed on this path merely by wanting? I am not sure. To succeed, we need to bring up what is that which exists at the core of our fear, for our examination. Is it an attachment? Or is it the need to show up in a particular manner….. even to our own self?
Shakti
This is a touching and real reminder that our worst fears do not have to prevent us from reaching for future joys with open hands and hopeful hearts. Beautiful writing, stunningly vivid and delicious pictures…a wonderful combination. Thank you for sharing this important reminder.
Thank you Marylin. It was only after writing this post that I realised how much I am still affected by the earthquakes, and how much my actions actually lag behind my words. I have booked a small retreat in June which will hopefully help me bolster much needed resilience
Great post as always!! I think earthquakes are very scary, I have felt several baby ones and they are traumatic…hope you heal Gallivanta hugs!! 🙂
Thank you so much Daniella. I am trying to do a little more of my T-shirt yarn knitting. That can be soothing. 🙂
good for you 🙂
🙂
It’s so much better to enjoy life rather than live in fear. The china is beautiful. It looks like it is in amazingly good condition. It’s so wonderful that you use it and enjoy it.
It’s good enough for décor but I wouldn’t want to use it except for display. The glaze is probably not good enough anymore to withstand proper use for food.
Feasting on life rather than on fear – there is such power in that statement!
At times it may be more powerful in word than in deed.Fear is a tricky business. 😦
Your grandmother’s china is so lovely. What a miracle it was spared from breakage. It’s good that you use your family heirlooms, and it must give you such pleasure to be able to bake those apples and make something really delicious to share. I’ve never experienced an earthquake. It must be a really petrifying experience, which I pray you and your father may never have to go through again. xx
Thank you Sylvia. I had experienced a few small earthquakes in different countries but I doubt that anything can prepare one for the shock of a big earthquake. I wonder if people in Japan would have a different opinion. Their earthquake preparedness physically and emotionally may be better than ours.
I love your wonderful set of photos! Beautiful combination – text and photos 🙂 bye. K
Thank you Kamila. 🙂
Moving ahead with confidence and grace instead of allowing crippling fear to take us over has been proven over and over on your blog posts. You always share with us the small blessings in the most difficult situations.
That is the plan Sheri but fear does take over sometimes.
I have to say first, beautiful blue china- my favorite! Your setting everything-so lovely…..
I was not aware of earthquakes until I read about Wendy( Quarteracrelifestyle) from NZ when she posted pictures of her china after an earthquake-WOW.
I guess, I never thought about it but now I read about what you all go through. I would be shaky ,too. We have tornadoes and they land in different places. They may leave one house and flatten another!We had a strong wind that whipped through here about 5 years ago + our street was covered in old trees. No one could walk or drive down it. My elderly neighbor had a tree on her roof and her entire yard was a downed tree. All our aged trees were gone, but that is nothing compared to when they flatten towns.
I have to admit after that, I am nervous when I see the winds and storms. I pay attention now.
I can’t imagine an earthquake-scary! I was stunned by the damage to her dishes and home after the quake…
You are right- to feast on life and not fear…easier said than done but one step at a time:-)
Certainly easier said than done; to feast on life not fear. Fear is awful stuff; like food poisoning. 😦 Tornadoes would scare me but then a lot of things scare me.
I know what you mean:-) I believe the older you get the more fearful you can become especially when it comes to your family members. When we are young-we are fearless-I see it in my kids that are young adults!
You are right Robbie. Increasing age often makes us more susceptible to fear. Perhaps that is a natural process, although I don’t see my old old cat being more fearful. She is more cautious and more sedate but she managed to outsmart a husky that attacked her the other day and she gave it a bloodied nose.
I absolutely am charmed by those lovely plates and that yummy baking! I am so sorry that your experiences 4 years ago were so imprinted upon your heart – going through a scary situation definitely has a way of worming its way into our deepest places. We have friends who were in NZ for a few months and they spent some time in your area – I got to see some photos and they only served to underline and double-star my travelling bucket list!
Ugh, yes,it’s absolutely amazing to realize how many places those nasty scary things have to hide. But I am glad our shaky earth hasn’t put you off coming to see all the wonderful sights we have to offer. If you come at the right time of the year we can even make you feel at home with some snow. 😀
Down with snow. Up with New Zealand! 😉
🙂
I like how you turned the trauma of the earthquake into something delicious, and…..ate it! 🙂
I do my best! Although somethings can be hard to swallow!!