Inspiring transformations

79 Replies

Ladysighs teaches herself to write Minute Poems  and  Lanterne poetry.   Mrs P  of Destination Unknown challenges herself to create Villanelles. Their willingness to play with form and words inspired me to attempt a haiku; my very first haiku, ever, emerging, as I near the completion of my fifties!

The monarchs return

when the plums ripen and fall

and  the winds blow home.

The monarchs return

The monarchs return

Plums ripen

when the plums ripen

Plum drop

and fall

There it is; short and sweet 😉

Will I write more haiku, or try my hand, and brain, at another form of poetry ? Maybe, but probably not yet. I would like to concentrate  my spare creative energy on my  chap books.  They need a massive transformation before they are ready to fly.

© silkannthreades

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79 thoughts on “Inspiring transformations”

    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Fascinating! I don’t know enough German to know which translation is the most accurate. But I certainly like the first translation the best. I am a Rilke novice; have read very little and understood even less 😦 But it is lovely that you read that line of my haiku and were reminded of Rilke’s sonnet.

      Reply ↓
      1. Steve Schwartzman

        I took one year of German in college a long time ago, and in those days I had the original memorized (but no more). Different parts of the different translations come closer to the original. In the rhyming versions, the need for rhyme can lead to less accuracy—but then even parts of the non-rhyming versions strike me as awkward. Translating is hard.

        Reply ↓
        1. Gallivanta Post author

          Some people, like my daughter, seem to thrive on the challenge of translating but it is something that is well beyond my skill set; too hard and too complex.

  2. Pingback: Haiku ~ Do you hear what I hear? | silkannthreades

  3. sandra

    Loved the haiku – but here’s a tip that may speed up on the next one. It’s not necessary to write them in 5-7-5 format! Although you may if you want to, most people writing in English don’t as it often means extra words are used/omitted to fit the syllable count. The whole 5-7-5 thing was a bit of a misunderstanding – Japanese doesn’t have syllables but “sound units” that don’t equate to syllables (for instance in Japanese Tokyo is 2 sound units, where we give it 3 syllables). Apparently Japanese naturally falls into a 5-7-5 rhythm, whereas English is more like 6-4-4. Anyway, mostly haiku writers keep their free form work to “a breath” or fewer than 20 syllables, and many aim at short-long-short lines. You can read a bit more at my blog, http://breathhaiku.wordpress.com/
    All the best with more haiku!

    Reply ↓
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Phew! I can take a breath, a sigh of relief, that I don’t have to fret about the 5-7-5 rhythm. I enjoyed reading your ‘what is a haiku’ section on your blog and I would love to see the haiku pathway one day. Thanks ever so much for your detailed comment and suggestions.

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  4. Leya

    You are so good with words – in every way! Love your haiku and love your Monarchs – I have one from you here…in my book. They belong to you somehow, to your world of summer words.

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    1. Gallivanta Post author

      So glad you like my photos. They are taken with a great deal of love and care which I hope compensates, a little, for my lack of technical skill 😉

      Reply ↓
  7. Letizia

    I’ll join the others in praise of your wonderful haiku! I love that you included photos too. I hope you will write others in the future, you obviously have a talent for them! And what a pleasure to see the monarchs and your beautiful plum tree.

    Reply ↓

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  16. utesmile

    This plumtree is huge….. I can see more jam coming up….. As for me, I am not good with poetry and language and won’t attempt a haiku, you are good…. I rather make muffins…..that is more me. 🙂

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  17. lensandpensbysally

    Oh, I am ecstatic. Here on the East Coast of the USA, we are saddened and trouble by the few monarch sightings last summer. It fills me with joy to know you have them. Here there host plant is milkweed, which many of us are planting with a vengeance. Too many people (especially in the Midwest) have removed it, because they perceive that it’s abundance is a nuisance. When in fact, milkweed is precious to the life cycle of the monarchs.

    Reply ↓
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      I lost count of the monarch butterflies that my small garden produced last year. I would say at least 20. I have more swan plants this year (some self-sown) so I hope the numbers will be double that. Every little bit helps, doesn’t it?

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  19. Joanne Jamis Cain

    I think I wrote haikus back in high school. I took a creative writing class and thoroughly enjoyed it! I love your little haiku and it is good to read about butterflies. It is so cold here in the Northeast USA!
    Joanne

    Reply ↓
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      We studied poetry at school but I don’t remember being taught to write poems or being taught haiku. My memory could be faulty, of course. I hope you can keep warm by imagining my butterflies warming themselves in the sun.

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  20. Heather in Arles

    Haiku is wonderful. I am not nearly disciplined enough to write it so appreciate your all the more! And it made me think of the wonderful novel “Flight Behavior” by Barbara Kingslover as well…

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    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Mmmmm…..have just read a review of Flight Behaviour to refresh my memory. You are quite right; my haiku is supposed to highlight the delicately balanced, yet immensely strong, connections/rhythms between seasons or weather and the monarchs. So, climate change is a part of that connection.

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  21. KerryCan

    You can start a new art form–haiku with photos that amplify the meaning! It could have its own set if rules and you’ll be the final arbiter! I see a great future . . .

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      1. Mike Howe

        If you’re good with words, and you are, then why not drill down into that particular well even further? I’m not good with words which is why I write instrumental music, and rather than trying to fill the “lyric gap” (as some people often ask me if I shouldn’t do) I just concentrate on trying to do instrumental music better. Keep up your writing it’s great

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        1. Gallivanta Post author

          That’s a good way to look at it. Would you put lyrics to your music if you could write them? I think they would disturb my listening experience.

        2. Mike Howe

          No I wouldn’t, I think instrumental music has it’s own place and allows the listener to imagine what they will from it. As you say it would take something from the listening experience. After all there are plenty of songs with words out there for people to listen to 🙂

    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Mmmmm….it would be nice to think so, but, really, if it weren’t for her love of poetry, I probably would have given up on poetry long ago. Glad you like my first haiku 🙂

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  27. tableofcolors

    Lovely Haiku! I am not very good with poetry, but I do enjoy it when others write. The arrival of the monarchs seems like a lovely event. We would have Monarchs in Minnesota when I was growing up, but here in Finland we don’t have them.

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    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Poetry is the hardest thing for me to write ,or understand, but it’s good to have a go at something that challenges me. I would have to put skiing in that category if I came to Finland at this time of the year! I see very few butterflies here, apart from the Monarch. What butterflies would you see in your area in the summer?

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    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Thank you Clanmother. It quite exhausted me! But more exciting than the haiku was the realisation that the season of plum eating coincides with a certain wind and the arrival of the monarchs. And there was the realisation that I was writing of these things on my blog almost a year ago to the day. Nature has a marvellous rhythm.

      Reply ↓
  31. Mrs. P

    I love your Haiku!

    Are the Monarchs really back? (crossing fingers)

    Oh my, you do have a LOT of plums…more than I need to make my jam!

    Reply ↓
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Mrs P! I would make a hopeless mathematician. You have no idea how many times I counted those syllables to get them right. Eventually, I used an online haiku calculator 😀 And, Yes, the MONARCHS are back. I am so thrilled.

      Reply ↓
      1. Mrs. P

        🙂 🙂

        Well, I don’t know how long I will take on the poetry as it does seem like a bit of work…but I did like your idea about doing a villanelle about plums…that one just sounded fun!

        Reply ↓

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