Ladysighs teaches herself to write Minute Poems and Lanterne poetry. Mrs P of Destination Unknown challenges herself to create Villanelles. Their willingness to play with form and words inspired me to attempt a haiku; my very first haiku, ever, emerging, as I near the completion of my fifties!
The monarchs return
when the plums ripen and fall
and the winds blow home.
There it is; short and sweet 😉
Will I write more haiku, or try my hand, and brain, at another form of poetry ? Maybe, but probably not yet. I would like to concentrate my spare creative energy on my chap books. They need a massive transformation before they are ready to fly.
Your “and the winds blow home” reminded me of the end of the last line of a sonnet by Rilke, a clause that translates literally as ‘when the leaves drive’ (which is to say ‘when the leaves get driven,’ which is to say ‘when the leaves get blown about’). You can find the original and eight (!) English translations at:
Fascinating! I don’t know enough German to know which translation is the most accurate. But I certainly like the first translation the best. I am a Rilke novice; have read very little and understood even less 😦 But it is lovely that you read that line of my haiku and were reminded of Rilke’s sonnet.
I took one year of German in college a long time ago, and in those days I had the original memorized (but no more). Different parts of the different translations come closer to the original. In the rhyming versions, the need for rhyme can lead to less accuracy—but then even parts of the non-rhyming versions strike me as awkward. Translating is hard.
Some people, like my daughter, seem to thrive on the challenge of translating but it is something that is well beyond my skill set; too hard and too complex.
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Loved the haiku – but here’s a tip that may speed up on the next one. It’s not necessary to write them in 5-7-5 format! Although you may if you want to, most people writing in English don’t as it often means extra words are used/omitted to fit the syllable count. The whole 5-7-5 thing was a bit of a misunderstanding – Japanese doesn’t have syllables but “sound units” that don’t equate to syllables (for instance in Japanese Tokyo is 2 sound units, where we give it 3 syllables). Apparently Japanese naturally falls into a 5-7-5 rhythm, whereas English is more like 6-4-4. Anyway, mostly haiku writers keep their free form work to “a breath” or fewer than 20 syllables, and many aim at short-long-short lines. You can read a bit more at my blog, http://breathhaiku.wordpress.com/
All the best with more haiku!
Phew! I can take a breath, a sigh of relief, that I don’t have to fret about the 5-7-5 rhythm. I enjoyed reading your ‘what is a haiku’ section on your blog and I would love to see the haiku pathway one day. Thanks ever so much for your detailed comment and suggestions.
You are so good with words – in every way! Love your haiku and love your Monarchs – I have one from you here…in my book. They belong to you somehow, to your world of summer words.
Thank you Leya (*A~C ). It makes me happy that my little monarch bookmark keeps you company.
Your photos capture the sun’s rays and soothing heat so well. As though I could almost feel it. 🙂
Wonderful! Am sending you lots more warmth and goodness right now 🙂
The image of the plums fall…you took it from a great perspective. love it. You would never know this was your FIRST piece of poetry my friend. Very nice!!
So glad you like my photos. They are taken with a great deal of love and care which I hope compensates, a little, for my lack of technical skill 😉
I’ll join the others in praise of your wonderful haiku! I love that you included photos too. I hope you will write others in the future, you obviously have a talent for them! And what a pleasure to see the monarchs and your beautiful plum tree.
Thank you Letizia. I have been watching the monarch butterflies this morning again. It’s a joy to see them.
Oh! Glad to see you’re trying new forms of art. Love reading Haiku, so thanks for that short and sweet poem. I am following this blog http://bashoandjung.wordpress.com/ you may like it too 😀
Thanks for the blog link. It’s lovely.
Now admit it; Haikus are fun.
I hope to read more of your creations!
Great potential for fun 😉 There you go, I almost admitted it 😀
I enjoyed your haiku, I hope some time you will try your hand at writing others.
Perhaps I will. It’s lovely to have your encouragement. 🙂
You seemed so concerned about your haiku that I contacted a man very adept at it. He is very eager to hear from you. Perhaps you’ve already been to his site:
GP, how kind of you. I am enjoying the link; such lovely haiku.
such almost autumnal beauties with slowly sunshine blessed leaves and squished plums waiting for bees to fly by…
Very squished plums, *tg* 🙂 Food for the good earthworms.
quelle happy earthworms.
Possibly very happy if the plums ferment in the summer sun. 😉
I KNEW there was poetry lurking in there somewhere! Let it fly, Gallivanta!!! Way to go!
I had a hard time digging it out!
At least you found the light at the end of the tunnel! 😉 The more you dig, the easier it gets.
Ah, yes! Remembering your poem and image ‘She Dug’ http://melodylowes.com/2014/01/20/5921/
See – told you so. hehe
Yes, you lead the way 😉
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Poetry was certainly in the air!
I love a haiku!
And yours too 🙂
I think you should keep it up because haikus are such digestible poems. and it is a nice little truffle of words Gallivanta!
A truffle of words. How delicious!
This plumtree is huge….. I can see more jam coming up….. As for me, I am not good with poetry and language and won’t attempt a haiku, you are good…. I rather make muffins…..that is more me. 🙂
And I will have a muffin when it’s ready.
Of course, anytime!
Oh, I am ecstatic. Here on the East Coast of the USA, we are saddened and trouble by the few monarch sightings last summer. It fills me with joy to know you have them. Here there host plant is milkweed, which many of us are planting with a vengeance. Too many people (especially in the Midwest) have removed it, because they perceive that it’s abundance is a nuisance. When in fact, milkweed is precious to the life cycle of the monarchs.
I lost count of the monarch butterflies that my small garden produced last year. I would say at least 20. I have more swan plants this year (some self-sown) so I hope the numbers will be double that. Every little bit helps, doesn’t it?
Short and sweet indeed. I feel the change, the movement and the gentle energy.
YC, you understand the haiku so perfectly. Thank you.
I think I wrote haikus back in high school. I took a creative writing class and thoroughly enjoyed it! I love your little haiku and it is good to read about butterflies. It is so cold here in the Northeast USA!
We studied poetry at school but I don’t remember being taught to write poems or being taught haiku. My memory could be faulty, of course. I hope you can keep warm by imagining my butterflies warming themselves in the sun.
That is helpful! We are due for 2-4 more inches of snow today!!
January 25th is Robbie Burns Day http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/01/23/burns-night-supper_n_4653790.html. Apparently Robbie Burns exalted in winter ( it was his ‘best season for devotion ” ) I thought of you and your recent snow posts when I read this poem of his, this morning. http://www.robertburns.org/works/211.shtml Keep snug and warm.
Haiku is wonderful. I am not nearly disciplined enough to write it so appreciate your all the more! And it made me think of the wonderful novel “Flight Behavior” by Barbara Kingslover as well…
Mmmmm…..have just read a review of Flight Behaviour to refresh my memory. You are quite right; my haiku is supposed to highlight the delicately balanced, yet immensely strong, connections/rhythms between seasons or weather and the monarchs. So, climate change is a part of that connection.
You can start a new art form–haiku with photos that amplify the meaning! It could have its own set if rules and you’ll be the final arbiter! I see a great future . . .
Oh, I like that….especially the great future 🙂
I think you haiku is great. You say it is hard work – but you made it look easy.
It gave my brain a work out, that’s for sure! But thank you for your lovely comment.
Thanks Mike. I guess now I should follow your example and teach myself to make music. jMmmmmm….That might be a bridge too far for me 😦
If you’re good with words, and you are, then why not drill down into that particular well even further? I’m not good with words which is why I write instrumental music, and rather than trying to fill the “lyric gap” (as some people often ask me if I shouldn’t do) I just concentrate on trying to do instrumental music better. Keep up your writing it’s great
That’s a good way to look at it. Would you put lyrics to your music if you could write them? I think they would disturb my listening experience.
No I wouldn’t, I think instrumental music has it’s own place and allows the listener to imagine what they will from it. As you say it would take something from the listening experience. After all there are plenty of songs with words out there for people to listen to 🙂
Lovely Haiku! I love your imagery, so poetic and succinct and clear. I look forward to more. Your daughter must have got some of her poetic genes from you.
Mmmmm….it would be nice to think so, but, really, if it weren’t for her love of poetry, I probably would have given up on poetry long ago. Glad you like my first haiku 🙂
I liked your illustrated haiku. It’s fun to play with different forms of poetry.
Thank you, Ruth. You do a fine line in rhyme 😉 and I am always keen to see your poem of the day.
Very nice, especially the way that the words and images work together. I too have been very aware of the monarchs just recently. Keep writing!
Thank you for your encouragement, Juliet 🙂 The monarchs arrive earlier up your way, don’t they ? You posted about them some time ago.
Lovely Haiku! I am not very good with poetry, but I do enjoy it when others write. The arrival of the monarchs seems like a lovely event. We would have Monarchs in Minnesota when I was growing up, but here in Finland we don’t have them.
Poetry is the hardest thing for me to write ,or understand, but it’s good to have a go at something that challenges me. I would have to put skiing in that category if I came to Finland at this time of the year! I see very few butterflies here, apart from the Monarch. What butterflies would you see in your area in the summer?
that is an inspiring plum tree … sadly ours is empty this year …. and your haiku is glorious … perhaps another will simply spring into being?
One never knows when inspiration will strike 😉 Perhaps you will be heartened to know that the photos are of an overloaded plum tree that I discovered in a public garden this time last year https://silkannthreades.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/the-lavender-lady/ I couldn’t cope with such a messy tree in my own small garden!
I love, love, love your Haiku! You are so brave and courageous…
I agree – poetry is hard business. Looking forward to more!!! 🙂
Thank you Clanmother. It quite exhausted me! But more exciting than the haiku was the realisation that the season of plum eating coincides with a certain wind and the arrival of the monarchs. And there was the realisation that I was writing of these things on my blog almost a year ago to the day. Nature has a marvellous rhythm.
Your first haiku’s is lovely! It clearly calls for more!
Thank you. Lovely to have praise from an expert 🙂
I love your Haiku!
Are the Monarchs really back? (crossing fingers)
Oh my, you do have a LOT of plums…more than I need to make my jam!
Mrs P! I would make a hopeless mathematician. You have no idea how many times I counted those syllables to get them right. Eventually, I used an online haiku calculator 😀 And, Yes, the MONARCHS are back. I am so thrilled.
Well, I don’t know how long I will take on the poetry as it does seem like a bit of work…but I did like your idea about doing a villanelle about plums…that one just sounded fun!
It is hard work; this poetry business. But I am sure you have a plum villanelle within you 🙂