Gorgeousness, plain and simple or Epiphanies, real and imagined, continued.

In my previous post on  Epiphanies I touched upon the theme of how we feel about the way we are dressed and how we imagine we are dressed, as opposed to the reality of how we are dressed. (So that’s what she was on about, you say 😉 ) Implicit in this theme, ( well,  implicit as I see it ), is the idea of how we feel about our body image.

Over the years of my lengthening life, I have led myself to believe that I am comfortable and happy in my own skin, but it occurred to me, after reading House of Bethan’s recent post on Gorgeousness  (aka this year my body will be gorgeous) that, perhaps, I was fooling myself about my relationship with my body image. After all, I don’t particularly like having my photo taken; I don’t particularly like looking in the mirror at myself; and I don’t like shopping for clothes, at all, and I don’t like wearing make-up or having my hair styled and fancified. I do  LIKE buying jewellery though; no worries there.

So I decided to *test* and *challenge* my body image feelings/confidence…..just a little…..by daring to display, to the  wide world, my style, or what passes for style in my wardrobe. And I discovered that even to do this was incredibly scary.

Glad Rags or Ordinaries

Glad Rags or Ordinaries

Incredibly scary because I come from a puritanical, Protestant tradition  that considered too much interest in physical appearance as  improper for a well brought up young lady. Feeling/being gorgeous , it was subtlely and quietly  implied,  was vainglorious, prideful and inappropriate for ordinary, every day persons… ( but perfectly okay for movie stars, princesses and Mother Mary, but not the plebs ). The ideal was to be modest, tidy, neat and plain, and to those standards I have been faithful most of my life….which probably explains why I have rarely, if ever, been complimented on gorgeousness. 😦  About the closest I have come to such compliments was during the years of  a very sweet and dear friendship with an elderly Italian gentleman; a professor of ophthalmology whom I met at Queen Elizabeth House at Oxford in 1979. Every time we met, no matter if it were the first or the third time in a day, the Professor would open wide his arms, bring one hand to his heart and exclaim with delight ” Cara, cara,  A……, Bella, bella A…..” and, then, take my hand and proclaim to anyone  within hearing distance how wonderful I was….the only person in Oxford whose English he could actually understand 🙂  Then we would sit, side by side, in the Common Room, sometimes discussing English words from his dictionary and, sometimes, just sitting, in the silent contentment of friends who need no words. It was gorgeous.

The Prof and I

The Prof and I

To honour that  long-ago time of  gorgeousness, and to acknowledge Bethan’s current day call to encourage us to live gorgeously in our bodies, ( and not merely comfortably and just so-so), here are some more  of my *being brave * photos of what  I will wear today:

the clothing, ( most of it gifted to me);

the accessories: the necklace;

the rings, the earrings and jewels for the wrists 🙂

Phew….so there you have it. Now I am off to flaunt (not)  my neat, tidy, plain and simple  gorgeousness at the supermarket; *ttfn* otherwise known as ta ta for now 🙂

© silkannthreades

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98 thoughts on “Gorgeousness, plain and simple or Epiphanies, real and imagined, continued.

  1. Leya

    “My mother had a tough working class background and always worried about ‘impressions’ which meant you should always be dressed up and never go anywhere without makeup! ” These lines I found in one of your friend’s comments on this post. They struck me hard, because that’s my mother. Exactly, the way she is. She is a very beautiful woman still, going on 79, and she still dresses up and always wears make-up. Her hair is always perfect and she loves buying new clothes. Perfect figure and was elected summer girl of the year once in her youth..a.s.o .So, where does that leave me? For ever in her shadow of course. But that’s good enough for me. As a grown up I admire her and understand her better when she thinks I am too casually dressed or wearing jeans all day – never a dress. (Big parties maybe or a ball or my wedding day…I can count them on one hand…) that was a problem for her all the years I lived in their house – her daughter was a jeans girl…
    Your post is wonderful and thought provoking as usual. Made by a gorgeous woman and I know we all agree about that. You are. Gorgeous in every way.
    The story about you and the professor almost brings tears to my eyes. He knew – and you could take it in and embrace it. Because I guess he was different and said this in his own way. With his heart and through his eyes. You couldn’t be mistaken! That photo must be so precious to you.

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      It is a very precious photo indeed; as precious as your comment Leya~Ann-Christine. My mother chose lovely clothes for me when I was very young, but, from about the time I was ten or eleven, I was allowed a lot of say in what I wanted to wear. I even designed my own footwear and had the shoemaker make them for me!!! She also encouraged me to sew my own clothes and even let me sew clothes for her…which she wore!!! How brave is that. So, although I don’t recall that she or anyone else ever said, explicitly, “oh you are gorgeous in that dress” etc , I would say that in her actions there was an implied appreciation of what I was doing and wearing. Certainly there was a positive interest. You may be interested to know that one of the best things to come out of this post was that, after my daughter read it, she said, “But, Mum, I always thought you looked gorgeous; until you started wearing those silly 80s type glasses!” Well, that made my heart sing (and I agree about the glasses!). So, who knows…perhaps your mother has not yet found the right moment to tell you how perfectly gorgeous you are in your jeans; which I am sure you are 😉

      Reply
      1. Leya

        A very warming answer, Amanda – thank you! It’s not that she didn’t/don’t appreciate me, my mother, but it seems she can never stop thinking about what other people think…about how I dress, about my garden (where there are too many dandelions…) a.s.o. Luckily I’m now old enough to accept her ways because I know why they are there…! I’m sure I have strange ways as well (I guess my children would come up with something if I asked them).
        How wonderful with your mother and with your daughter reading and commenting this post! I can understand the feeling in your heart. Once again this blogging brings out good things!

        Reply
        1. Gallivanta Post author

          I am certain I have strange ways ie strange in others’ eyes! I have a dear and very close older friend who is particular about appearance and she is always trying to dissuade me from wearing my glasses perched on the end of my nose! She finds it odd; but I find it comfortable 😉 ! It’s lovely that we grow into acceptance of each others’ ways.

        2. Leya

          It really is. Funny that I often wear my glasses just like that too. That’s the very best place for them to be. But we’re all different and I guess that’s a good thing.

  2. Clanmother

    See what happens when you are courageous! The dialogue comes when there is honest and purposeful inquiry. From the beginning of time, fashion is a statement of who we are as a society. I remember wearing white gloves and stiff cancans; then it was granny glasses, bell bottoms and floppy hats. Over the years, clothing has become a way to identify power, sensuality, freedom, and adventure. It has been used to control and define parameters of what is acceptable.

    I love your choice of colour, jewelry and fabric. And I rejoice in your friendship with the Professor. Priceless….

    “Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.” Coco Chanel

    Reply
        1. Gallivanta Post author

          I tried to do a video recording of me reading one of my favourite books but the camera on this computer gave such disappointing results that I have shelved that recording. However a recording is still on my agenda!

  3. greenlightlady

    I adore summer for being able to wear short sleeves and capri pants. Your first outfit caught my eye. Your words about the Professor made me smile – and a smile is the best accessory to add to any outfit.

    Blessings ~ Wendy

    Reply
  4. Su Leslie

    Lovely post. I really like the turquoise of your top and cardigan, and teamed with the amber in the jewellery – inspired!

    Reply
        1. Gallivanta Post author

          Well….I am not quite brave enough to show you exactly how I look in them but I love the colour combination and I feel joyous wearing them.

  5. leapingtracks

    Firstly – fabulous post as usual, thanks. And a wonderful outfit – you have such a great flare for colour combinations, which we usually see from your pictures of your home – so nice to have a peak at your wardrobe! 🙂 Second, you raise such an interesting point about how we feel about ourselves. I think we make so many assumptions here, and throw in what we think other people’s expectations are going to be, putting the ‘acceptance’ bar unnecessarily high, rather than just being comfortable in our skin (plus the clothes we like of course) and letting everyone else get on with it. So you go for it, girl!! 🙂

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Thank you leapingtracks. Yes, we do make so many assumptions and all of them unnecessary.I think it can be nice if the way we dress gives pleasure and happiness to someone else.. thinking here of a bride in a beautiful wedding dress.. but, ultimately, it seems best to dress to suit ourselves and to a standard that makes us as happy, and as gorgeous, as we wish to be.

      Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Fine feathers all a -flutter; just need a chandelier or three. I am thrilled to be alive. It is a privilege, and a privilege to have enough clothes and jewellery to be able to *worry* about what looks good or not : D

      Reply
  6. tiny lessons blog

    Very enjoyable post. You are casually elegant! Nice casual pieces paired with accessories that have personality. I’m also a very casual girl which is just fine here in Florida, never liked the requirement to dress for business. Lazy clothing days are fully acceptable and enjoyable 🙂

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      I think I would enjoy the Florida lifestyle. Can you imagine that, when I was preparing for my first job interview in New Zealand, my advisors said that wearing bright colours would be inappropriate.. I couldn’t believe it…every country has such different ideas/styles although we tend to think we follow universal fashion trends.

      Reply
      1. tiny lessons blog

        I think you would enjoy the relaxed lifestyle here. It’s funny how even “work fashions ” change. The business attire today is far more casual than it used to be, but where I used to work we had to consider dealing with clients from many cultures so we had to lean on the more formal side. Dressing up for work gave me a headache every morning 🙂

        Reply
        1. Gallivanta Post author

          Come to think of it, it’s only been in the last decade that I have been ‘free’ to dress as I wanted to. Before then, like you, there were cultural and work considerations to take in to account. I didn’t find that burdensome but I was probably dressing to suit others more than myself.

  7. dadirri7

    You have so many comments here Gallivanta (what a gorgeous provocative name!!!) that I have not read them all, for fear of not being able to resume the grape harvesting work I was doing with S …. but I love your blue and white cardigan and your amber rings (my own choice too) … you would certainly make a splash at our supermarket! PS Lovely to meet you!

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Lovely to meet you too 🙂 Glad you like the cardigan..it was bought in Australia, so I am told. I am guessing the day is fine and good if you are harvesting…how does one dress for that, I wonder???? And I must confess that I have, at times, worn my slippers to the supermarket :D, so making a splash at the supermarket occasionally makes up for those not so flash visits!!!!

      Reply
  8. Marylin Warner

    You’ve struck a strong, common cord, and struggled with a question we all understand. You certainly do have a talent with accessories.
    I loved the details about the Prof, and the picture is wonderful.

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Perhaps in preparing my clothes/ accessories for presentation I was channelling my favourite childhood past time of designing paper dolls and their clothes. I also loved making doll’s clothes. My Prof was a wonderful friend. I am so glad I have that photo still.

      Reply
  9. Just Add Attitude

    Our relationship with our body is complicated, or rather our relationship with what we perceive our body to be, because I suspect that perception may not always be wholly accurate. I know I often dwell on the negatives.

    I too dislike having my photo taken and like an earlier commenter if I am lucky enough to receive a compliment I try to minimize it. I have just decided that from now on I am going to say simply ‘thank you’.

    Well done for being brave and displaying your outfit – the jewellery is gorgeous btw. 😉

    Reply
  10. Playamart - Zeebra Designs

    Wow; this was a very popular post! we all want to look our best for the camera, and inwardly hope that our best image is projected to the world; it’s nice when one is comfortable in one’s own skin, and i think that touches of jewelry are highly personal and add to what makes each one of us more unique!
    you’re the best, no matter if you’re polished and ready for high society or in bohemian mode with me!!!
    z

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Yay! And I am glad there are no cameras on me today because I am having a very lazy clothing day…..I have been lost in a creative project….and you know how intense that can be…I have had trouble stopping to eat. 🙂

      Reply
  11. Mrs. P

    Since I moved to Florida, I find that most of my clothing preference is casual and loose. Like one of your other posters, I like freedom from anything that binds…including shoes, whenever possible. I wear no make up or jewelry and my hair is now natural (whitish gray) with a wash and go haircut.

    When I want to add a little gorgeous to my life, I add color…hot…vibrant and flashy. Sundresses and tunic tops lend the best view to my figure and can disguise the extra curves that age has bestowed upon me. It’s as if by donning on my bright, youthful attire, the lift in my gait is a bit swifter, could there even be a little bit of bounce in my step? And my usually uncooperative hair suddenly becomes a sassy tangle, somewhat modern and in vogue.

    Really? I think it’s all about attitude. I think I buy these things because I feel a moment of sassy youthfulness and in doing so, I play the part beautifully and I am simply gorgeous!

    Reply
  12. cindy knoke

    Okay, I am flying over. We’re going for a spa day, my treat mani/pedi, hairstying, facial, the whole nine yards. You are going to feel gorgouesness out of every pore!!
    It would be fun!
    But actually my 86 year old mother is much more vain about her looks than I am about mine. She worries about it at age 86. I just don’t care that much. I have other things to focus on.
    And at 86? Being vain? Come on…….
    PS- You are gorgeous! 🙂

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Oh wouldn’t that be fun! It’s years since I have had a spa day 🙂 And a hug, if she would like it, to your mother……I like that she likes to be gorgeous at 86….and I am sure she is. We are all gorgeous 🙂

      Reply
  13. KerryCan

    I live more like Ladysighs but often beat myself up a little for not trying harder. Isn’t it interesting to read all the ambivalence here? I do admire people who seem to look “put together” without effort but the effort it would take me . . . I guess it’s just a little overwhelming and quite possibly not worth it to me! But I think your outfit is fab!

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      You may beat yourself up a little, yet you have a great understanding of gorgeousness and style that can be seen in your chocolates, your quilts and your vintage linens…..perhaps, being surrounded by ‘gorgeous’ means that there seems no need to apply layers of it to yourself….just wondering out loud?

      Reply
      1. KerryCan

        That’s an interesting question! I do think I look for beauty in the world but I don’t worry about my own looks much. Partly because I have a husband who seems to think I’m gorgeous no matter how awful I look (how cool is that?) and partly because I’ve always valued my brain more than my physical appearance. Having said that, I do think it would be fun to be more comfortable in the world of fashion and looking good.

        Reply
        1. Gallivanta Post author

          Yes, I have always desired a beautiful mind and spirit more than a beautiful body with beautiful clothes, but, I suppose, other than the energy required to be beautiful in all spheres, they may not need to be mutually exclusive. I have invested heavily in colour consultants and interior designers for my house and a landscape designer for my garden…..the immense pleasure I have found in my more beautiful surroundings has far outweighed the cost….perhaps taking the same approach to one’s appearance would yield similar pleasure?…..yet, as usual, money spent on myself is always last on my list of priorities 🙂

  14. Travelling Kiwi

    Your paragraph about how we feel about ourselves could have been written about me – I have developed the art of looking into the mirror to make sure my hair is tidy without actually LOOKING at myself (if that makes sense). I hate shopping for clothes too – I managed to get away with not buying any new clothes this year, justifying it to myself as ‘saving money for my overseas holiday.’ Hah! (I did manage to afford to buy a book or two – somehow they were more necessary than clothes).
    I will try to follow your excellent example and be kinder to my self-image 🙂

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Yes, if I look too hard in the mirror I start to stress! Better the quick glance which you have perfected 🙂 And I can also find money for a book or a piece of jewellery but somehow decide that I can’t possibly spend ‘that much money’ on clothes. Both our mothers always looked lovely, so I don’t know where we get this from…..?

      Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Thank you Annie. I do tend to be casual, very casual. I don’t really know how to do elegant … I would quite like to know how but I am not sure it would suit my personality.

      Reply
  15. womanseyeview

    You are always so interesting and thought provoking…we really are products of our upbringing even when we think we’ve escaped it it’s always there like a little voice in our head! My mother had a tough working class background and always worried about ‘impressions’ which meant you should always be dressed up and never go anywhere without makeup! Her insecurities I guess and she was constantly disappointed at my rejection of those values. Nowadays I care very much where my clothes come from and how they were made – locally whenever possible and the rare union made item will delight me no end! Loved your post and the jewelry selection.

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      I know quite a few women of an older generation who have the same view as your mother’s. They always look wonderful when they step out the door but…..if I dress up it is to please myself…..and that is a kind of defiance of years of being told at school that one’s hemline had to be exactly so many inches above the knee…. I am developing more awareness of where my clothes and jewellery come from. It is important to know,but I am a work in progress. The little blue tank top was purchased many years ago and was made in Bangladesh. Today I would be a little more cautious about buying something like that….I would like to know more about its production before I purchased.

      Reply
  16. vsperry

    Gorgeous is in the eyes of the beholder and your professor obviously beheld your gorgeousness. I constantly go back and forth about how to show my gorgeousness, I live in farm/WalMart country where dressing up is definitely not the norm. Some days I enjoy running to the store in sweatpants, other days I am in a mood to show my power in every way I can.

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Mmmmm…..I think I go back and forth too…..sometimes I don’t care at all and defy anyone to challenge my right to sloppitude; other days I want to dress as beautifully as I know how. Either way, it boils down to MY CHOICE 😉

      Reply
  17. lensandpensbysally

    Bravery is the thought that swept through me as I read your commentary. We are constantly evolving and growing as individuals, and your introspection is honorable. Mostly, we must stay true to who we are. Thanks for allowing us to join your journey.

    Reply
  18. ladysighs

    When I retired over 15 years ago I promised: no dresses, no makeup and no restraining undergarments. I may have broken the promise twice……when my son got married (twice). I never have a problem deciding what to wear the next day. The jeans and sweatshirt is all laid out for me just where I dropped them on the floor. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      So you are true to your own style which is thoroughly gorgeous in its honesty 🙂 I would only have one concern about the jeans and sweatshirt on the floor…spiders! Don’t you worry about spiders?

      Reply
      1. ladysighs

        Somewhere I think I wrote about the spider bite I got. It was in bed under the covers. 😦 I do shake my shoes out looking for scorpions.

        I used to like clothes and bought many when single.
        Now I have trouble lifting arms etc. A real pain to put on anything. Worn out and out of breath just dressing. But everything I have matches. lol

        Reply
        1. Gallivanta Post author

          I hear you about the physical difficulty of dressing …..I wish there was more awareness about this. Designers of baby clothes are always trying to make them easier to wear, put on and pull off etc, yet there’s almost nothing for older adults.

        1. Gallivanta Post author

          Ours are not particularly poisonous but their bites can be quite nasty/troublesome. Usually the spiders stay outside, unless it is about to rain. Then I seem to find them all over the house but especially on the curtains or around the bedding or in clothes left lying about.

  19. YellowCable

    I think you are definitely gorgeous, plain and simple in the dress and with those accessories 🙂 IMHO, it is not so simple to arrange “gorgeousness, plain and simple” (and comfort too) together!

    Reply
  20. coulda shoulda woulda

    It’s a funny one though…I have no problem if someone says nothing about my appearance or even critiques it but if they say something nice for some reason I get all weird about it and feel I have to justify it. It is a complicated we all have I think. People either overlap it up or reject it harshly. But I love that there was a beauty mentor perse. I love that picture and it shows…

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      It is complicated! What I am curious to understand is if our complicated approach has something to do with our stern Protestant traditions, transported to the Antipodes. I have a feeling , but no evidence, that other cultures, eg French and Italian have a much more *relaxed* attitude to style and body image. My Prof always wore the most exquisitely made suits and a bow tie. His wife owned a boutique so she was fashion conscious too. She sent my mother a beautiful blouse which was so beautifully made ,and of such good quality fabric, that it still looks fine and stylish after more than 30 years!

      Reply
  21. Katrina Lester

    Gorgeous colours and accessories! I hope you feel replete with gorgeousness as you went about your day. This is a difficult feat to keep up for us females brought up in the puritanical tradition of not paying much attention to our looks. I applaud you for taking time to do this to take you out of your comfort zone. Living in cities like New York and London, where women are much more image conscious has raised my consciousness about appearance and the way I want to exhibit myself to the world. It’s a difficult on-going task, fraught with ambivalence.

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Fraught with ambivalence is exactly right! And not helped by years of wearing uniform with rigorous standards about how the uniform should be worn. And, for goodness sake, we even had regulation underwear and got in to trouble if we wore anything else. Quite bizarre when I think about it now. I did have a gorgeous day 🙂 thank you. I am not quite ready for Paris or London but maybe one day…….

      Reply
  22. Tracy Rhynas

    Your professor sounds wonderful – and I am sure he made you feel totally fabulous and gorgeous! I think your decision to test and challenge yourself is great. I think any time we put ourselves ‘out there’ it is scary and our knees shake. I remember nervously deliberating for hours before I pressed the button that first announced on Facebook to all my friends and family that I now sell jewellery online. And its no wonder you decided to gift yourself the bracelet, it goes perfectly with everything, especially those amber rings – they are truly gorgeous. I have a little piece of amber at home that my Dad and I found on the beach one day. My primary school teacher tumbled and polished it for me, and I have treasured it ever since. When I learn how to do wire-wrap jewellery I am going to turn it into a pendant. I hope the supermarket appreciated your everyday gorgeousness 😉

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Thank you for your encouragement. And, yes, I admire all of you who put yourselves (in creative form) on the line/out there everyday…will someone like it, will someone buy it etc because each artwork or creative piece is a piece of yourself/soul. Your piece of amber must be lovely and especially lovely because of the memories associated with it. Funnily enough, I think the supermarket did appreciate my stylish efforts….I asked the owner where the double sided tape was (the shop has just been remodeled and I was feeling lost in it ) and he found it for me and said ” No charge”. I was astounded. 🙂 It was a big roll of tape!

      Reply
  23. utesmile

    That is beautifully put together and matching, Love all the jewellery going perfectly with it. I am sure you will feel good in it. I had to learn a bit about matching and my great freinds took me shopping for clothes (which I never liked) and started off with even matching underwear, then going all the way helping me. It was great fun and I enjoy now going shopping for clothes, (even if it is not often,as I have to watch the pennies) but when I do go I love it. It is something I do for myself and we all need to treat ourselves sometimes when we look after others all day! I also love jewellery and have had many jewellery presents since as my friends know this. I love wearing it. Still need to choose my earrings for today….
    Choosing an outfit daily I like gives me confidence to get out into the world.

    Reply
    1. Gallivanta Post author

      I have a good friend who helps me with clothes too. She has a much better eye than I do but I still have trouble shopping for myself, unless it’s jewellery. 🙂 I found it really interesting putting out the clothes and jewellery to photograph; it started to give me a small understanding of how to put together an outfit. Usually, I grab things out of a drawer or wardrobe and put them on and then decide if it is ‘right’ or not. And if I am feeling tired or stressed, I won’t even bother to decide. I am sure you are choosing a gorgeous pair of earrings 🙂

      Reply
      1. utesmile

        And then there are these times when you are really tired and all you want is put a cosy fluffy onesy on and nobody is allowed to see you as you look rather silly in it, but it is warm and snuggly. I don’t even open the door in this. This is my ideal evening garment before bed! 🙂

        Reply
        1. Gallivanta Post author

          Yes, Yes, but somehow I always have to answer the door….visitors or tradespeople never seem to come when I am in respectable dress!

        2. utesmile

          To be honest I answered last week the door to a politician who wanted my vote in my Onesy
          … rather embarrassing, but I don’t like his party anyway.

    1. Gallivanta Post author

      Awwww…….and certainly a paradox 🙂 The Prof and I had a friendship that lasted for years…until his death in about 1992. I doubt we spoke or wrote more than a few thousand words in that time, because his English was limited and my Italian was nil. But he loved to travel and he would try to visit me wherever I was in the world and, one year, I had the most wonderful holiday with the Prof and his wife at their summer home in Siena.

      Reply
    2. Gallivanta Post author

      Awwww…….and certainly a paradox 🙂 The Prof and I had a friendship that lasted for years…until his death in about 1992. I doubt we spoke or wrote more than a few thousand words in that time, because his English was limited and my Italian was nil. But he loved to travel and he would try to visit me wherever I was in the world and, one year, I had the most wonderful holiday with the Prof and his wife at their summer home in Siena.

      Reply

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